sunflowers &papermaking

Preparing some materials for a new batch of paper I am making this weekend! I am attempting to experiment with more text from novels in the paper…and my partner gave me sunflowers so I also would like to experiment with those in the paper making process! I will keep yall updated !!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season and that your new years will be filled with love, merriment, and wonderful people.

♡♡

home baked bread, stew, &family dinners

Lately I have been feeling so incredibly low and I have noticed I am losing touch and this deep connection I developed with myself over this summer. Last night I made myself spicy pumpkin and coconut milk soup. Today I baked simple vegan bread and cooked stew for Dana, Ashten, and I for dinner.

The windows are open and the cool October breeze is washing over us while we lay sleepily on the couch watching movies. Cooking for my friends gives me such a wonderful feeling and brings me back to simple things that I love.

This autumn is a good time for change.

insomnia

been sewing all day! now for a giant pot of coffee to pull an all nighter for First Friday!

I am going to miss being in the desert. I am going to miss being in the mountains and near the Pacific Ocean. In less than a week’s time I will be back three hours into the future and reflecting on my summer of 2011. These past few months have been some of the hardest, loneliest, best, and exciting of my life.

So, here’s to Florida and California and New York. Today I am writing out my six month plan because, yes, I am moving back to New York next year.

I can’t wait to look back on this time in my life and feel so amazingly smart and strong for it.

august fourth

While a friend was visiting me in Brooklyn they put up this picture of me, dad, and mom...I liked it so much it followed me to Los Angeles.

july 28, 2011;

Packed the essentials. The move from New York to Los Angeles was, needless to say, exhausting. My body isn't sure what it is going to do after living over twenty years three hours ahead of the west coast.

I am staying with a friend from college for a few days before I move into my new Burbank home. He is an assistant to the CEO for a managerial company to directors and whomever else needs their life managed, I suppose. LA, right?

I am going to start a raw fast which will turn into a juice fast...

I need some clarity.

My body hurts.

with your arms outstretched to me!

If you come visit me we could lay in the ocean together. We could lay in my empty room while the sun floods into each crevice and washes our bodies with a warmth that is tinged with the cool air conditioning. I could be barefoot on the carpeted floor and tiptoe around your sleeping body. I would go into the kitchen with a soft smile on my face and pour us orange juice. I would make us toast with fig jam that was sent lovingly from Florida and creep back into my bedroom to see you have rolled over, now facing the window and its abundance of sunlight. I slowly lower what is in my tiny hands to the floor and get on my knees to crawl towards you. I could connect my body to yours, wrap my arms around you and hide my face in your back. I could be loved and you could be loved and we could be happy. Don’t you see what Los Angeles is? It is a dream and it is full of life and love and all the happiness we could ever hope for.

july twentieth

he told me he had a dream last night that we were going to drift apart. he woke up and was going to phone me but I was already phoning him to tell him that I am moving to California.